Patience

Patience.
Yup. Enough said right? You pray for patience and you find yourself losing it more often. So, you try to counter act it by not praying for it, and practice the patience you’ve already acquired. Oh but then, along comes that one instance to which you learn that patience you’ve been practicing has a limit. It’s this crazy cycle.

I’ve been learning a lot about patience. It seems to just pop out at me from every corner. When I read the Bible I see it. Hidden right there behind the words written down hundreds of years ago. In different friendships its exercised, and not just by me God knows my friends have learned a bit about patience through me. In my family. I mean who hasn’t dealt with that in the family?

One of the first things love is defined as in 1 Corinthians 13 is patience. “Love is patient…” That makes me chuckle, I don’t know why, but God has a funny sense of humor. Why would that be the first thing listed to describe love? I don’t have an answer for that, or even an opinion. It doesn’t really matter though, it is what it is.

I’ve met this amazing man and patience is something he’s been teaching me. I don’t think it’s a conscious effort on his part, but nonetheless, he’s been teaching me a lesson on the subject. Through different events in my life, like this one, I’ve learned to be patient with others. To have understanding for where that person is coming from, what they have experienced, and how it effects the daily grind of her or his life. For example, this guy, he’s made it through a lot in his life. He’s walked through heartache and disappointments. He’s seen loved ones be torn down and built back up. Honestly the fact that he is who he is, is seriously an act of God. And what do I see behind those piercing blue eyes, that remind me of galaxies (Haha I know I’m cheesy), and the life he’s experienced so far? Patience. He may not see it but I definitely do.

It’s difficult for many women, and dare I say some men, to be patient in a relationship. Especially if you reached that age where not only are a lot of your friends married, but are having their second child. For me personally that hasn’t been a huge struggle, you know seeing my friends get married and have kids. There are those days don’t get me wrong, but they haven’t occurred too often. At my age though, 25, I’m at a place where I know who I am and what I want, for the most part, out of life. And I’ll be honest it’s hard to be patient and difficult to just enjoy the current movement of my relationship. I’ve always been attracted to the unknown, and that is exactly what the future is. I want to know! Haha. Which I know wouldn’t be any fun. It would be like finding your Christmas presents as a kid before Christmas (which I’ve experienced). Yet, I still want to know, and yet again, my patience is well strengthened I guess.

The interesting thing is that my man and I don’t really talk much about the future. You know what kind of “future” I mean. He has a slight aversion to it haha, and frankly so do I, but his aversion has caused me to slow my roll even more. And I’m not freaking out. Which from previous experiences and conversations with my girlfriends its well slightly unusual. I don’t have an urgency though. I think a lot of that is due to the fact that he makes me feel very comfortable and confident in our relationship. His aversion to making long term commitments (ah I know crazy that a man would be like that! Haha) has taught me patience. I’m at this place where I’m not stressed about where our relationship will go, or if it will end, or even really thinking much about all that. I feel stable and secure.

I’m amazing at the unique ways God teaches me things. I’ve always heard how you learn a lot about yourself in a relationship, and obviously the other person, and what I’ve experienced so far in the midst of it all is that God is working something up. He’s teaching you things you sometimes don’t even recognize as lessons. You just figure it is what it is. To think that He is constantly and consistently working in our lives is, well, almost incomprehensible. Almost.

Patience is virtue, or so I’m told. I, for one, want to be virtuous.

Cheers!

Rape in a Small Town – Steubenville, Ohio

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/highschool–steubenville-rape-trial-divides-ohio-town-052958178.html

Came across this article this morning.  Let me tell ya, I’m almost speechless… almost.

I’m really just floored.  This story, these turn of events, are like a Lifetime movie coming to visit reality.  The article goes one to explain how this rape case has divided a small town in Ohio.  It’s the “cops/football vs. the girl”.  I don’t know a thing about this town.  I’ve never even heard of Steubenville, Ohio till today.  The story here is ruffling feathers though.

The author explains how the people he talked to asked multiple times if what they were saying was, “off the record”.  The bartender even told him he couldn’t mention the bar’s name.  It’s a town of no names.  It’s a town where football is the main source of entertainment, according to the article.  The pride and joy now tainted by the actions of idiotic teens.

I don’t understand why these young boys, yes BOYS!, thought it was okay to take advantage of a girl who was too drunk or drugged to say no.  Our society is set up in such a way that kids think they are adults.  While taking a psychology class in college I learned that the frontal lobe of the human brain is where we process the consequences of our actions.  Here’s the kicker, it doesn’t develop fully till we’re 25.  I worked with high school students for many years and the common attitude I saw was one of pride and arrogance.  (Hey we’ve all been there, so if you’re a high school student reading this don’t get butt-hurt about it.)  High school students are still growing, still developing a sense of self.  They don’t know who the hell they are, they know who they want to be, but that’s about it.

Right’s groups are probably having a field day with this.  The media as well.  A town where fear seems to run deep, fear of the authorities that is.  ”These are big, burly laborers, not the kind of people prone to fear, but in Steubenville it’s just better to lay low and keep your complaints among friends over smudged glasses of Jim Beam, cans of Miller Lite and a steady stream of Marlboro smoke.”  Though they may not be prone to fear, it’s there. No one wants to rock the boat, because more than likely you’ll get tossed overboard. What can be done though?  Maybe this will be a stepping stone in the right direction against small town corruption.  A lesson on standing up for what’s right, standing up for justice.  If not, well in my opinion it’ll be a millstone around the neck of this town.

 

I’m actually quite fascinated by this.  The way the journalist described the town, the people, and the attitudes towards this case.  It’s not something I’ve ever come across, well not in real life.  Like I said it’s a Lifetime movie.  I’m not trying to sound insensitive, I know that this is real for those involved, painfully real.  I’m sure the people of this town aren’t proud that a rape is now associated with their home.  Who would be?  I think though the only thing that would be shameful is trying to “sweep it under the rug”.

Corruption is every where, not just in a small town.  It crosses state lines, international boarders, and so on.  The world we live in is by definition corrupt.  As Ghadi said, more or less, “If you want to see change in the world, you must start with yourself.”  This town is going through an internal battle, one that goes deep and has been going on for years.  I’m going to hope the right thing is done, that justice is served, and that this town can recover.

Article written by Dan Wetzel, an award winning sportswriter, author, and screenwriter, for YahooSports.  

 

The Final Touch – R U TATTOOED?

Phone: (719)260-1357 

Located @ 5352 MONTEBELLO LN. COLO.SPRNGS,CO.

Shop hours:  

SUN.-MON.  Closed

TUES.-THURS. 10AM-8:30PM

FRI.-SAT. 10AM-12AM

 

After a couple months of trying to get this all taking care of, from the birth of the idea to it’s completion, IT’S HERE!!!! I am so stoked to be featuring Baby Tim and the shop on my blog. And I haven’t a doubt that his art will speak for itself, but I’m going to be promoting like none other. Be warned!

Illustration by Courtney Brims
Tattoo artist: Baby Tim
Where: R U Tattooed?

Illustration by Courtney Brims
Tattoo Artist: Baby Tim
Where: R U Tattooed?

Q&A with Baby Tim

(Keep in mind I did my best to get these answers verbatim.)

1.) Describe what “artistic integrity” means to you. 

“Knowing your craft and doing it properly. Practicing it and executing it properly. You could just tattoo, but if you’re not gonna practice at it, and make sure you’re doing everything right it’s not gonna be good.”

This is what you want to hear from your tattoo artist, hands down!  There’s nothing more important than the artist knowing what he or she is doing.  That’s how you get some phenomenal art.  Baby Tim went on to explain that there are certain individuals out there called “scratchers”.  Now he warned me that one has to be careful using this term, because there are some incredibly talented artists out there who work out of their homes.  And I am definitely not about to knock an amazing artist for working out of their home.  I say, props to you!  ”Scratchers” however, are individuals who didn’t go through an apprenticeship, don’t follow the safety/sanitary guidelines set up for the industry, and are just about the money.  So get educated on who your asking to tattoo you. Baby Tim went through an apprenticeship and definitely knows his craft.  Just sayin’.

2.) How important is it to be honest with a client regarding the tattoo they want?

“Super. Most of the time you have people who think they know what’s going to look best, and it won’t.  If I don’t tell them exactly what I know, then a lot of stuff can go wrong. If I just did exactly what people brought into me there would be a lot of crappy stuff out there. I have to use my professionalism to help the client see that what they think they want may not look the best in the long run. That’s where the proper teaching and apprenticeships come in.”

I took in a script piece I wanted on my inner arm to Baby Tim, but the font size I picked was a wee bit small.  Baby Tim pointed it out, and explained that the tattoo wouldn’t be legible.  Due to that key factor my tattoo grew in size, but I don’t regret that.  Now it’s this amazing, epic piece on my inner arm.  One that I cannot wait to show off again when summer rolls around!  Here’s the thing, if I could show off every tattoo I’ve gotten done by Baby Tim at all times I would.  That is how happy I am with the work.  Let’s just say you won’t regret going to see him for your next tattoo.

3.) What’s the best part about being in this industry?

“Being able to do what I love every day and making money at it. And making a lot of friends. It’s almost like we’re (tattoo artists) therapist, that’s fun.”

4.) What’s one of the hardest parts?

“The scratchers. Tattoos are getting so main stream. These people go out and get machines, start tattooing their friend, jacking them all up. That’s the hardest part.”

The man is passionate about the art, and keeping it real.  I have mad respect for that.  Every time I go into the shop I am greeted with professionalism from everyone.

5.) How long have you been tattooing?

“Almost ten years.”

6.) What got you started?

“Started drawing all these tattoos for my friends, and sending them to this guy who did my tattoos in high school.  Well him and my dad decided to start a shop.  I told him I wanted to start tattooing, so he wanted to see my portfolio, and it had all these drawings of tattoos he had done.” 

Baby Tim’s put in his time.  Not just as an apprentice, but also as an artist.

7.) Why should someone decide to come to this shop?

“Because our work speaks for itself.  Plus, it’s an awesome place to come.”

No doubt!  Their work does speak for itself, and the shop is a great place to hang out while your waiting to get your ink, and while you’re getting inked.  Aside from professionalism, the artists and shop staff are friendly, and definitely want you to get the best artwork you possibly could get.

The Shop

Click on the gallery to get a closer look!

8.) Out of all the tattoos that you’ve done, which one sticks out the most? And why?

“One that sticks out wasn’t even big, it was Winnie the Pooh and Piglet.  Piglet was kinda flying in the wind, and it looked like Pooh was pushing through the wind holding onto Piglet. The guy (getting the tattoo) lost his daughter, and that was a picture in her room.  His daughter was the same age as my daughter.  He kinda broke down, and it made me think about my daughter when I was doing it.  It kinda made me be a better dad, because you never know when you’re going to lose somebody.”

Well there you have it, a complete interview with an extremely talented and professional artist.  The last nine tattoos I’ve gotten done have been at the hand of Baby Tim.  Not once have I walked out thinking, “Man, I wish he would have done this… or this.”  If you’d like to see more work done by Baby Tim and the other phenomenal artists at R U TATTOOED? check out their site at http://www.rutattooed.com/.

Click on the gallery to get a closer look!

All photos were pulled from RUTATTOOED’s website,  from Facebook at the permission of Baby Tim, or from other customers per permission.  If one of these beautiful pieces is yours send me a message and I’ll make mention.  

RUTattooed – A little preview…

Vanessa says this about Baby Tim and the shop, “He’s dope. All these guys are dope. They’re fair priced, and give you great artwork.” This chic would know she’s got a killer neck piece done by Baby Tim.

Here’s the man I’m talking about!  Doing a touch up for me.

Just a taste of what’s to come! I’ll have an entire post about this guy and the shop. Including a Q&A sesh, photos, and much more. So keep an eye out!

In Loving Memory

January 9th, 2013 an amazing woman passed through heaven’s gates.  My Oma.  She was an phenomenal woman.  She lived strong, loved hard, and forgave much.  A true inspiration.  I’m not entirely sure how to describe the loss I feel right now.  It comes and goes like the waves of the ocean.  Slowly sweeping over the sandy shore of my mind revealing one memory after the other, just like the ocean’s water reveals sea shells on the shore.

I received a call this morning around 4:30, and it was my mom calling to tell me her mother, my oma, had died.  I quickly got dressed and went down to the hospital.  As I walked into the room I saw my brother, my aunt, and my mom.  All with red, wet eyes.  And soon my tears came.  Just a couple nights ago I had visited her, she was in pretty bad shape then, but I kept thinking, “She’s gonna bounce back.  She’s done it before.  Everything was going to be okay.”

As I sat in a chair at the end of her hospital bed I kept looking at her chest.  Waiting for it to rise and fall.  I wanted to see her move, I wanted to see her eyes kind of flicker open like they had before.  But she didn’t.  The fight of this last year still present on her face.  It’s been a doozie since her fall back in June.  Constantly striving to get better, to get back to where she’d been before her fall.  In the midst of seeing the struggles from the year on her face there was a peace.  She wasn’t fighting to breathe anymore, or to get comfortable.  She wasn’t fighting, period.  No more suffering, no more pain.

My oma was the kind of woman who would always let you know what she was thinking, sometimes tactfully, but most of the time not.  She would tell you if you looked like a farmers daughter in that jumper you use to love to wear.  Ha!  And she would tell you how beautiful you looked, or how much she loved you and was grateful you came to see her.

I remember how she would tell my brother and I when we didn’t want to eat something that, “One day you’ll be grateful for a crust of bread.”  Her aunt used to tell her that.  And she was.  She told me about living in this apartment complex of sorts with other woman who worked for the Nazi government during WWII, and that the day came when she was grateful she had a crust of bread.  This is something I know I will be passing along to my children.

I think that my desire for adventure comes from her.  She told me how at one point during the war she decided she was done going into the bomb shelter.  She was sick of it.  So she didn’t.  Sounds like something I would do.  Such an independent woman, a bit rebellious too if my memory is correct.  It makes me chuckle because she’d always worry about me when I would leave for another country.  And without fail the week before my trip made sure to tell me of whatever news she heard regarding the country I was visiting.  I would tell her, “Oma don’t worry.  I will be safe.”  And always was.  She’d say, “When your young you want adventure, I was like that at your age.”  I really never grew tired of her stories, or her little sayings.  I know that my brother and I were fortunate to have a grandmother like her.  One who would make us eat everything on our plates, who would speak her mind, but was also such a quite source of strength.

She left behind an incredible legacy.  I remember lunches with her, and laughing with her, smiling with her.  I’m sure she’d be embarrassed if she knew I was going to write this out, but oh well it’s a fun memory for me.  She had dentures and when she felt a bit playful she’d stick them out at us and make a face.  Usually it was always to give us a laugh and make us smile.  And it worked.

You couldn’t help but love this woman.  She was such a cute old lady.  I remember the first time I realized that I was actually taller than her.  She said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”  haha.  Ah, I love that woman.  She never took life too seriously, and was always so grateful for what she had.  Family truly was everything to her and despite the hurts of things past she was always able to forgive.  She’d tell me, “Family is all we have. So we have to forgive.”  Its interesting how you don’t really realize the lessons you’re being taught by someone until they are no longer with you.  Like I already wrote, she left an incredible legacy.

Oma, here’s to 87 years of life.  You fought hard and did so well till the very end.  We all miss you so much, but are so happy that you aren’t suffering anymore.  Thank you for leading such an incredible life.  You taught me how to live strong, love hard, and forgive much.  I will work to live up to those three things for the rest of my life.  Love you so much, Your Samanta. (That’s how she’d say my name, after so many years in the U.S. she still had a German accent. Amazing.)

 

 

 

The End of a Season – Bit of an Update…

Tonight was my last official night as a Young Life leader.  This moment is bitter-sweet.  The joy, happiness, satisfaction, excitement that I have gotten from being a leader with YL is close to unexplainable.  Most Monday nights for Club I walk in feeling exhausted, and if I’m complete honest not wanting to be there.  But by the end of the night I have more energy and feel at peace.  There aren’t many things in my life that leave me in such a state.  The kids that I have spent the last year and a half with are phenomenal.  Truly.  They all have something special to offer the world.  I’ve been blessed enough to get a rare glimpse of that something special.

The reason for my departure is to rest.  For almost the last seven years I have been involved non-stop in some form of ministry on top of school, work, and maintaining a social life.  To actually say that my plate is now empty is so foreign.  This moment has been a long time coming.  For the last several months I have started transitioning into a new season.  There’s a verse that says, “…be still, and know that I am God.”  Throughout the years there were times when I was still, but it was short lived.  Now I am really going to learn what that means.

None of this has really hit me just yet, I don’t think.  However, I have a feeling that whatever is next will be something I wasn’t expecting.  I am so thankful for my time with YL, and I hope and pray that one day I’ll be back.  For now, I get to just rest.  And I’m looking forward to that being all I do.  For a time.

Cheers to the awesome YL leaders and kids I’ve gotten to know!

 

My different facades – Words of wisdom from my dad.

Year after year I realize that my dad actually may just know what he’s talking about.  Growing up and out of the phase of, “parents don’t know” is a long process apparently.  But like I said the older I am getting the more I’m understanding the valuable wisdom they have to share.  And that all they need is a chance, the opportunity, to do that.  Which means, me sitting down, shutting up, and actually listening.

For the past couple weeks I haven’t seen my dad, and last night as I stopped by the house to pick up a tool we got a little face time.  I filled him in on a couple things going on in my life. (Side note:  I love that he cares so much.)  At one point in our conversation he told, “Sam you just need to be yourself, the person I know you are.  Stop going into “worship-leader” mode, “youth ministry” mode, and what not.  Just be you.  God’s got your back.”

As you can imagine I slightly sunk back in my chair and just absorbed his words.  Throughout our conversation I felt like he was just clawing at my heart.  But the words he spoke carried so much wisdom and truth that I couldn’t just ignore him per usual.

Now my dad would probably kick me arse for over analyzing this, and tell me, “Sam it is what it is.”  However, I cannot just let these words be.  Throughout my twenties I’ve been many things.  Youth leader, worship leader, mentor, musician, friend, girlfriend, etc.  And in each of these titles I’ve found an identity.  While at the same time trying to profess that my identity is truly found in Jesus.  I was avoiding the truth.  Reflecting back it was easier to reach out and take on each of those identities than to just BE.  To top all this off, it hasn’t been the first time someone close to me has mentioned this.  A few years ago a close friend brought it up, and just a few months ago another friend made mention of it as well.

Okay, so it’s finally hitting me.  Better late than never right?

“Sam just be you…” those words are ringing through my head.  So the question is…drum roll… who am I?  (I know pretty profound.)  It’s a good question though.  Since I’ve recently been stripping down my commitments to almost nothing answering this question will get the attention it deserves.  What amazes me is how easy it has been to grab hold to these other identities, or classifications for myself, and avoid the depth of who I am.

Maybe my avoidance has been out of fear.  I’m not a “horrible” person, but am I really a “good” person?  To sit and mentally melt away the different facades I’ve acquired over my lifetime is not going to be an effortless task.  The timing is perfect for this though, and I’m honestly excited, slightly nervous, to unearth the real me.

Cheers to my dad and his years of wisdom!

 

Soon to come – A post about my tattoo artist, his work, and the shop!  Pretty stoked to write this one.